Loss

Early yesterday morning my grandfather passed away. He was 80 years old and had a full life including serving in WW II. He goes on to be with his wife of 60 years who passed away in July of 2005. As this was unexpected, it is still not accepted. I can not quite believe he is really gone. When my grandmother died she had been sick for many months and although her passing was not easy, there was time to say goodbye and begin to prepare. My mother is one of their 4 children, I am one of 10 grandchildren, great-grandchildren numbered over 15. Many of us gathered yesterday at the family home to begin the mourning process. He will be buried on Saturday with military honors.

Many years ago when I was in high school my Papa (as my grandfather is known to me) asked me to play the trumpet at his funeral. At the time it seemed an easy enough thing to agree to. His funeral was an unreal event in the far distant future. Now, I find myself wondering how I will keep this promise. I have not played regularly in over 10 years and although like riding a bicycle you do not forget how, I am very nervous about playing in front of anyone. But it is what he wanted, I cannot disapoint him now. The song I believe I will play is "Amazing Grace".

My mother has lost both her parents now and I know these next few days will be very stressful for her. I think that reality will not set in for me until later. The first time I plan to go for a visit and realize there isn't anyone there. My last visit was made on November 10 and I found my Papa in good spirits, working in the yard, and enjoying his new cat. We ate lunch together and he fussed over my children. I hugged him goodbye before we parted in what would be the last time.